A Question from Gentle Reader

Q: meeboguest275495: Putin leaves wife for model dancer - http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/vladimir-putin-leaves-wife-for-model-dancer/2008/04/18/1208025425083.html - what problem is this solving?

A: How dare you interfere in my business.

Problem clearly is nosiness of plain and simple variety. I will solve problem by means of legislation and more careful watch over journalists to ensure that they do not print libel.

Clearly additional controls over internet communications are necessary as well. We may need to find out, for instance, who meeboguest275495 is. This may prove useful.

On terrifying trend of "Drive-fiving"

I meant to spend time today discussing Obama bitterness mishap, but I was alerted concerning trend of American teens who are looking for "ultimate high-five experience" engaging in dangerous new behavior.

Two teens in cars drive toward each other at speeds of up to 90 km/h and then attempt to high-five the other. As you can imagine, bruised knuckles and broken arms and bloody palms have all resulted. Is terrifying and absurd behavior such as teenagers throughout time have engaged in. Clearly it must be stopped.

What is more important to USA than our children? Not economy. Not environment. Nothing is more important than our children. That is why if I am elected, my first act will be outlawing of this "drive-fiving" as the children are calling it. Anyone with arms outside vehicle will be removed from vehicle and prevented from driving, by force if necessary. Problem solved.

Think of safety. Think of Children. Think Putin 2008.

Thank you for show of support

As you may know by now, my campaign has a facebook page where supporters may congregate to campaign on my behalf.

As of yesterday, page now has 500 supporters. It is tremendous showing. I thank all members of campaign. Please remember to help your friends solve America's problems by voting for Vladimir Putin.