Monday, November 3, 2008

wow, this really got away from me

Basically, the important thing here is to vote. I encourage you to vote for Obama. Take care.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

If you think I am going to talk about Georgia or affairs or anything you are wrong

I received email in my inbox:

"Greetings with high respect to you.

my name is Kwaku Acheampong,a young ambitious man from Ghana,west-africa.i got the address

from facebook support page.i am an active supporter of your vision.

I have a big problem that i was hoping Your Majesty could assist me solving it.

I am a young man in Ghana,Africa with no stable financial source.i discovered a tremendous opportunity

from company in England through their website.they want global presence and as such,are looking for partners worldwide.

the company supplies energy saving products which are non-existent in this territory and as such,has a very good and high potential.

the problem is,the company partnership deed costs $40,000.

i dont have access to unsecured loans and financial assistance down here so i wanted to appeal to Your MAJESTY, if HE could assist me

with a loan of about $50,000-$100,000 for me to operate the business for a period of 2years then i repay with interest.

The company is called Enigin andi have made first contact with them but yet to conclude official business interest in offer due to

inavailability of finances.

YOUR MAJESTY Is my only hope in this world at this crucial point in my life.please assist me Kindly YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY MESSAGE YOUR MAJESTY.

LONG LIFE,PROSPERITY AND GOOD HEALTH WITH WEALTH I PRAY FOR YOU.


Kwaku Acheampong,
233-249-881691
Ghana."


Well, Mr. Acheampong. Thank you for calling me your majesty. Is a fine honor and grand style. I will have your money faxed to you shortly in small cash bills. You will find it useful, I trust.

Now, readers, this is why you vote for Putin instead of McCain or Obama: which of them would have the intelligence to seize such a grand opportunity for creating environmentally friendly things?

Is simple. Only one candidate. Vote Putin 2008.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Another kind word from site visitor

  meeboguest911927: Mr Putin, your work, establishing Russia as a world dominant force is admirable. Greek people always mention you with great respect and awe.Thank you very much for your time

The people of Greece have always been gracious in addition to their other admirable qualities (excellent cooks, very clever at quilting, etc.). Thank you for your kind word, and if you ever have problems do not hesitate to nominate me for national leadership positions.

Monday, May 19, 2008

It is now time for me to take responsibility

I was indirectly behind this.

I suggested to Nashi, my youth movement, that some harmless prank ought to be pulled on Kasparov. Little did I know the ambitious and strong and intelligent young people would take an idea to heart. It is crude, but young people are crude, and it is noble in its intention.

Video here.

Monday, April 21, 2008

A Question from Gentle Reader

Q: meeboguest275495: Putin leaves wife for model dancer - http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/vladimir-putin-leaves-wife-for-model-dancer/2008/04/18/1208025425083.html - what problem is this solving?

A: How dare you interfere in my business.

Problem clearly is nosiness of plain and simple variety. I will solve problem by means of legislation and more careful watch over journalists to ensure that they do not print libel.

Clearly additional controls over internet communications are necessary as well. We may need to find out, for instance, who meeboguest275495 is. This may prove useful.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

On terrifying trend of "Drive-fiving"

I meant to spend time today discussing Obama bitterness mishap, but I was alerted concerning trend of American teens who are looking for "ultimate high-five experience" engaging in dangerous new behavior.

Two teens in cars drive toward each other at speeds of up to 90 km/h and then attempt to high-five the other. As you can imagine, bruised knuckles and broken arms and bloody palms have all resulted. Is terrifying and absurd behavior such as teenagers throughout time have engaged in. Clearly it must be stopped.

What is more important to USA than our children? Not economy. Not environment. Nothing is more important than our children. That is why if I am elected, my first act will be outlawing of this "drive-fiving" as the children are calling it. Anyone with arms outside vehicle will be removed from vehicle and prevented from driving, by force if necessary. Problem solved.

Think of safety. Think of Children. Think Putin 2008.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Thank you for show of support

As you may know by now, my campaign has a facebook page where supporters may congregate to campaign on my behalf.

As of yesterday, page now has 500 supporters. It is tremendous showing. I thank all members of campaign. Please remember to help your friends solve America's problems by voting for Vladimir Putin.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A man, a plan, a canal: Putin

Sometimes, despite great secrecy here at Kremlin, media still learns of things ahead of time, like proposed bridge to Alaska from Russia. Sometimes it is small but useful projects of sort like this. Sometimes it is much more important secrets. Last time such a secret was discovered, there were disastrous results:

It was Medvedev's last birthday party. The entire crowd of heads of Russian state were waiting quietly in dark for him to arrive. When he did, we all spoke "surprise" but he was not surprised. The staff of Pravda had alerted him.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Missile Talks continuing, Ms. Rice relatively convincing

I must congratulate Condolleezza Rice as she has managed to avoid overstaying her welcome here. It is precisely because of her sharp sense of wit and if not love for, then understand of Russian culture that has kept our country's ear available to her.

I will speak with you my readers about my main concern on U.S. proposal: as you can plainly see, it is new version of old "Star Wars" system. It is confirmation of legacy of Russia's two least favorite Americans: Ronald Reagan and George Lucas.

I hope you may understand the enmity which Russia feels toward Ronald Reagan, as he is the president most closely identified with a period of international relations about which I do not wish to discuss here.

But did you know of the general dislike of George Lucas? He is filmmaker of high renown throughout the world--apart from in the Kremlin. During height of his fame, he came to visit Russia and in fact met briefly with several of our excellent leaders during that time. He committed a social faux pas of the worst sort at a formal wine-tasting event here.

His sense of propriety is bosh. It is poor beyond belief. He neglected to spit out wine after drinking or even to moderate to only a sip of each. By the end of the event, he blindly grabbed at many bottles, pouring them in his mouth and eyes and hair.

This is why we are not fond of Star Wars missile defense program.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

On Russia & US Talks

You may have heard about the talks here in which I have spoken with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

We still have much talking to do, about many issues, but I wanted to let loyal readers of my blog in on "behind scenes" knowledge. Ms. Rice is complex, multi-faceted person. Among "fun facts" I have found about Ms. Rice are these:

1) She employs strawberry liquorice to stir her morning coffee;
2) was involved heavily in drama program during high school;
3) favorite band is American hit rock act Coldplay

Very interesting! Perhaps as I learn more about Ms. Rice during our formidable negotations, I will pass knowledge along to you.

Perhaps, too, I will ask her to retain her post when I am victorious in American race for Presidency. What are your thoughts?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Question from Fan

[23:05] meeboguest408381: Czar Putin, if by some conspiracy by your enemies you fail to become president of US, would you be willing to travel North and become PM of Canada?

Answer: It is never wise in politics to give an unthoughtful answer. Canadian Prime Minister is not a position I find disdainful, like city comptroller or other terrible job. Canadian Prime Minister would be fine. Still, I cannot commit at this time.

But because you mention it, no conspiracy by my enemies will cause me to fail becoming President of US. This is primarily because I do not have enemies. The only thing that could conceivably cause me to lose election is bad decision-making. Please contact your American friends and help them avoid bad decisions.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Kind Word in Rude World

Received this note from kind fan using meebo application on sidebar. The people of Greece will always remain close to my heart. Thank you for your kind words.

meeboguest197902: Mr. Putin I am one of the people of Greece that think very highly of you as a political persona. The way you have tried to solve the problems of your people is really admirable. I hope our countries will continue to have good relationship-it is often said that we both are brotherly nations. Keep up the excelent work. Thank you very much!


Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Article with Terrible Misleading Headline

I am not pleased with way in which article paints my picture.
Am also disappointed by Will Stewart's poor grasp of punctuation, particularly in last sentence. Is shame. Is like getting shot in face by Vice President Dick Cheney.

Also, make sure to visit my Facebook page, where I have updated some pictures for your convenience. Become my fan, support Truth in Media.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Impressive Showing of Support

Vladimir Putin 2008 page on Facebook has 100 supporters as of now. I am proud for my supporters and look forward to easy victory to put me in White House. Each of you has within you the goodwill of a Problem Solver. Approach life with that knowledge and nothing will stop you. Nothing.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Yesterday's post was kid

Dmitry, was joke when I laughed about you remembering who true leader is. You have won great election, I want for you to share with me office of President of Russia and begin transition as soon as possible.

We will work together to reshuffle Cabinet and pick amenable members for you. You may take charge of meetings of State Council. I will step aside to be Prime Minister for you. You will not be a stop-gap President. Thank you for your support.

Yours truly,
Vladimir Vladmirovich Putin, USA Presidential Candidate 2008

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Congratulations Medvedev

Dmitry,

I am congratulating you through blog. I have backed you since beginning. Your popularity within country will grand you strength in times to come, and your leadership will guide our motherland in future. I foresee a time for great partnership between you at helm of Russia and I as President of USA and Cuba. We will forge great new times, a new era for world.

I am trusting you, Dmitry Medvedev, with greatest treasure in world. People of Russia are trusting you with their own quality of life. We know you will prosper.

If you do not I will hip-toss you to ground and convert your hometown (even though it is my own also) into enriched Ukrainium, if you get meaning.

Heed always my counsel, Dmitry. Heed it and you will find yourself in position to solve problems.



Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Presidential Contender USA 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

On Prince Harry Soldier

You may find about story here.

Edit: Is coming home as result of finding out.

Is encouraging to see Harry fight alongside soldiers. True leader does not shy away from dangers. True leader embraces danger, fights foes, crushes threat to country.

This is why I am 6th dan blackbelt in Judo. Is why I have written book on subject of martial arts. I began my career of service to beloved country of Russia as member of KGB.

Prince Harry is relatively dangerous man, with knowledge of weapons and how to kill. Harry should be leader of United Kingdom instead of third in line. This is what i think of this.

In turn, I am easily three times more dangerous than young Prince. Therefore is easy to see I am meant to be three times leader--Russia, United States, Cuba, when time comes.

This is why I am running for President of USA. I am justified in my campaign. Press yourself into my service.

I am dangerous. I am leader. I am problem solver.



Vote Putin 2008.

Monday, February 25, 2008

This is not how it is.

I saw inaccurate picture today on internet.




This is not how it is. If you cannot understand symbolism in picture, I will tell you, is political. Is political, but is wrong.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Turkey in Iraq

You may already have heard of Turkey launching land offensive into Iraq. Is violation of deal brokered between Turkey and USA.

You see how this is unacceptable. If I were leader of your country, I would not tolerate. This is what I think of this. I would talk quickly and sharply to Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who would back down as if from bear.

In mean time, USA White House chides them as if action is of small boy. If you choose me to lead your country, would be no chiding. Turkey would know place because Turkey would be stuck in vicious land-war sandwich of US and Russia.

Problem is solved.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Yulia my Yulia


You will perhaps excuse, but I am to talk about issue unimportant to Americans today. I will talk of Yulia Tymoshenko.

She is gorgeous sunflower but has made tragic mistake in aligning with West of quail face shooters and fat television watching.

Yulia, I have not always treated you well. You must forgive indiscretions of youth and wipe tear from your eye when considering your heart I have broken.

But time has come for you and I to begin a friendship anew and recover from dalliances of past. Please mend your heart and find it within to forgive.

I know it was terrible for me to leave you in the dark at Makeout Point. I know now that you cried for hours and yelled at picture of me, smashing frame to many pieces. But it is yesterday! Water is well under bridge and to aqueduct now. Perhaps to Georgia after this many years.

I implore you to think straight and twice. Send daughter to join Nashi, she will grow into fine young man like mother.